dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
