you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
