Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
