Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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