Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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