doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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