don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize