Where did you get a picture of my penis
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
