Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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