dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
