idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
