Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Watching her eat just hurts me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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