He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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