Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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