Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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