I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
