All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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