fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
