im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
