Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize