what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
