no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
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I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sorry about my life...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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