to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
