Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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