worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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