bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize