Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
