tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
