Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize