i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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