Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
