And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
