Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
