I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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