You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
