I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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