i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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