Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
