oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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