By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
