i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
