I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
