Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
