Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
