Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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