still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
