I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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