i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize