note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
3pm strippers are depressing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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