So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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