Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
