I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
