its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
