hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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