Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
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I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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