So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
