The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
