She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
